Is there such a thing? I never thought so, but then I never thought I would end up divorced either. So, let’s not put merit into all of my thoughts. In fact, I believed that Jim, my former spouse and I were good candidates for this story. Based on that belief I spent a Sunday afternoon with my ex going over what I had written on the subject of co-parenting and recorded his responses and opinions.

Perhaps it was the fact that we no longer scream and yell at one another that gave me the confidence that we were now qualified to co-write an article on co-parenting. Maybe it was just an intense need and desire to have the kind of co-parenting relationship that could be written about. I don’t know what it was, but I do know that three days after interviewing my former spouse, my car broke down 36 miles outside of Las Vegas and my daughter and I were stranded. I had $32 in my pocket. We’re talking August in Las Vegas and it was hot! I was broke, things were not good. On the second day of being stranded, I gave in and called my former husband. Confident that he would offer to help jaimi and myself, I shared our dilemma. I was sure that he would assist me by either offering to bring his flatbed to pick us and the car up or fly us home and let my brother-in-law haul the car home later, something, anything. He’s response to my call was eye-opening. He simply said "Bummer!" Followed by "Well, keep me posted!"

That was it. I sat there with a knot in my stomach and realized that we don’t co-anything or at least we don’t co-everything. Stranded two hours from my car, in the middle of nowhere with the biggest horse fly’s you’ve ever seen, 115 degree weather, and all I get is "keep me posted!". Life does go on, just not very easily sometimes.(For the record, I called my mechanic, followed his instructions carefully, and was headed home in my piece of junk car the following afternoon).

So, how can I deliver the gospel to all of you when my partner and I haven’t perfected the art of co-parenting yet? I searched for couples who do qualify and found that yes, there are people out there, they do exist. One such couple Freeman King and Dana Tkac, are pioneers to co-parenting.

Actor Freeman King and former wife Dana Tkac met in Hollywood. Freeman was Dr. D on Merv Griffen’s Dance Fever and Dana worked as an executive secretary for Paramount Pictures. Freeman says it was "Love at first sight". Dana claims "Lust at first site". Nonetheless, they dated for two and a half years before marrying in a non-traditional wedding in Mazatlan, Mexico in 1979, with non-traditional expectations. Acknowledging that many marriages end in divorce this educated couple agreed in advance, to end things amicably and remain friends should the big "D" become a reality in their world. When asked what was perfect in their marriage Dana responds with "Laughter and the opposite thing". "I was serious and he was funny". She feels they complimented each other the way opposites often will. She became funnier and he gained a serious side.

Like many couples, Freeman and Dana’s love produced a baby. John was two years old and present when his parents obtained a quickie divorce in Las Vegas. When the judge asked if Dana wanted any alimony and child support, Dana replied, "I’m making more money than he is." "Why should I make him suffer?" Dana knew that Freeman would help out in any he could and would be there financially it whatever capacity he was able to. The understanding and commitment that existed between this remarkable couple provided the blueprint for a healthy "after-divorce" relationship which the entire family benefits from.

There had been no fighting, yelling or screaming in their relationship, not during of after. They realized that their son’s future rested in their hands and how they handled the present. They may have terminated their marriage, but a relationship remained intact. Initially Freeman and Dana had apartments in the same building. They visited each other regularly so that their son enjoyed active parenting from both mom and dad. Dana taught her little boy to always tell daddy, “I love you” after speaking with him over the telephone. She taught her son that daddy was the greatest man on earth. Freeman taught his son that mom was special too. There has never been a set schedule. Joint Custody and Joint Care is how their divorce decree reads.

Today, thirteen years after their divorce, 15 year old John still tells his dad that he loves him before he hangs up the phone. John is a bright, creative and loving person who earns B plus average grades in school. He has been raised with an emphasis on good habits, morality and God. He is as proud of his parents as they are of him and realizes he is lucky, that many kids do not have parents that interact, as his do. He is not the type of kid who is tempted to smoke, drink, do drugs or use profanity. He is a perfect product of co-parenting, the kid we all hope to have. Of course he is still all boy!

Although they don’t spend every vacation together, Freeman, Dana and John have enjoyed vacations to Las Vegas and many other road trip adventures together. On these occasions father and son sleep in one bed and mom will have the other. Freeman speaks highly of Dana. His claim that "She is an incredible woman” is one that I can’t argue with. Dana’s positive feelings towards John are obvious when she shares that "Freeman is truly an exceptional fellow."

I personally, feel that we all have a great deal to learn from these two who in practicing the perfect divorce have created a healthy environment not only for the child whom they both love so much, but for themselves. I applaud their success and will humble myself even more in an effort to walk even half way down the road these to have paved for all of us.

NOTE: I shared my feelings with my ex-husband regarding the Vegas issue. And I want all of you to know that my car (Love that Sterling) broke down again. And when I called Jim to ask him if could pick jaimi up from school, he came straight to the mechanic shop, picked me up, drove me to Enterprise Rent-A-Car and rented me a Pontiac Sunbird for 5 days. (And he paid for it!) Thank you Jim ... This is what it’s all about.  


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