The Single Moms & Dads Non-Profit Organization New Members Handbook
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
WELCOME TO M.O.M.S.
Welcome to Moms On a Mission Single, Inc. Herein referred to as M.O.M.S. You have just joined the newest and most exciting single moms and dads organization in existence today. M.O.M.S. goal is to establish Chapters across the world. Member involvement will make this a reality. And, we look forward to helping our members work toward this goal.

M.O.M.S. MISSION STATEMENT
Our mission is to improve the quality of life for single parents and their children by providing resources to strengthen the emotional, spiritual and financial state of the one-income family.

We will create avenues to alleviate stress, eliminate the all-too-frequent feelings of loneliness and isolation, and increase self-esteem in both single parents and their children.

We will encourage a harmonious relationship between joint custodial parents so that their children may flourish and grow up in a loving family environment.

Through determination we will put the past behind us, focus on today and build a better future for ourselves and for our children.
~ Together We Can & Will Make A Difference ~



A Note To All Moms & Dads
I understand how hard it is. I live it every day. I’ve dealt with the guilt of taking a moment for myself. I’ve cried a million tears because the bills and the stress are more than I am financially and mentally capable of handling. The responsibilities are sometimes overwhelming. I know what it feels like to wish I could meet that someone special. I too have looked at my child and prayed that my parenting skills will reflect a positive outcome. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone.
Spencer Betz


PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION M.O.M.S.
As conscientious Single Parents, it is our primary endeavor to raise our children to healthy maturity, with the full sense of being loved and accepted as a person and with the same prospects for adulthood as children who mature with their two parents together.

From the Divorce or Separation, which divides a family or the loss of a Parent by Death, the entire family suffers. For children in such circumstances, to grow unscarred requires the utmost in love, understanding, and sound guidance. To provide these is a responsibility inherent in parenthood. It does not end with separation or divorce for either parent.

In many cases, Single Parents in our society is isolated. The difficulty, frustration and stress of providing emotionally and physically for our children and ourselves are compounded by the isolation.

Therefore, In the Conviction, that we can achieve this end by working together, through the exchange of ideas, socializing, networking, mutual understanding, help and companionship, which we find with each other, we have established M.O.M.S. to further our common welfare.


REQUIREMENTS FOR MEMBERSHIP
M.O.M.S. requires applicants to have a minimum 50% physical custody to qualify for membership. Applicants must be able to produce documentation of such upon request.

M.O.M.S. encourages single parents whose children are now grown, to apply for membership. The only difference between them and us is that they have successfully survived whereas it is yet to be seen if we will! The last requirement is a commitment. A commitement to improve your family environment, applaud yourself for the things you are successful at the and to forgive yourself when you fall short. And last, but not least, to help others, like yourself, when it is possible.
Application Available On-line At
http://www.singlemoms.org






What M.O.M.S. Does
M.O.M.S, Inc., is a non-profit resource, educational and support organization devoted exclusively to the welfare and interest of single custodial parents and their children.

Although it is recognized that all single parents have special needs, M.O.M.S. Inc. primary focus is on the custodial parent and their children and makes every effort to aid in meeting the needs of the primary parent or responsible party.

M.O.M.S., Inc. encourages a harmonious relationship between all single parents by working and communicating for the benefit of themselves and their children. This includes exchanging ideas and promoting mutual understanding.

M.O.M.S. creates events and functions for social interaction. Many events are for adults only. We believe that single parents need a break in order to recharge. A happy single custodial parent means happy kids.

At family functions we focus on helping the kids get to know one another and encourage friendship, good sportsmanship and leadership skills in children.

We will make every effort to meet the needs of all single custodial parents. Emotional support is of the utmost priority. Financial assistance is not (at the current time), within our means. However, we are able to provide referrals to outside agencies that specialize in fulfilling specific needs.

Membership is a privilege and we certainly hope that you will take advantage of the benefits of this organization. Participate in meetings and express your ideas for expanding, or developing programs.

M.O.M.S. provides support to those who are willing to help themselves and who will in turn, help other single parents if and when the need arises and assistance is within the members ability.
M.O.M.S. Inc., does not encourage nor does it prohibit dating between members of the opposite sex. We want it made clear that we are not in any way shape or form a dating club or an organization for possible relationships.


Let’s Get Real
Okay, We’ve got the formal stuff out of the way ... Now, let’s get down to the real stuff. This organization was established because one woman felt isolated and alone. Many single parents know those feelings all to well.

This is an opportunity to rid your life of those emotions. M.O.M.S. is about friendship and understanding. Your involvement in M.O.M.S. means new friends and a new attitude. We are offering you the tools and the land. Now, all you have to do is build the house. In other words, participate! Get involved with other single parents in your area.

We know how hard it is to attend a function when you don’t know a single soul. But we guarantee that you won’t feel like that for long. So, just come! You can do it.

We will grow and be able to help other single parents if you share in the commitment involved with creating a resourceful, supportive, educational, networking and productive organization.

If you are a “people person”, perhaps you might want to take on the role of Hospitality Mom. Or maybe you enjoy research and can assist in that area. Event Coordinating is hard but rewarding work.

As a M.O.M.S. Member you are entitled to M.O.M.S. Business Cards. Your card will bear your Name, Title, Telephone Number and E-mail address as well as our Logo, Web Address and Corporate Mailing Address. Coworkers, friends, single parents you happen to meet and everyone who knows a single parent will be grateful when accepting your business card. This is where you can really make a difference. (The cards are printed in Purple and Teal and 500 cost only $26 delivered to your door.) All orders must be prepaid and are shipped directly from the printer to you.





I’m A Member ... Now What?
Member Benefits



JUST FOR YOU
Magazine
There’s Nothing like ...
M.O.M.S.
"Quiet Moments"
We don’t have often have those Quiet moments ...ah, how nice they are. You’ll love M.O.M.S. Quiet Moment. It’s a moment of time in a tin. This beautiful oval shaped tin is filled with M.O.M.S. own custom scent.

You’ll Love Quiet Moments Lazy Lavender .. It’s fresh aroma will remind you of a mid afternoon spring day.

Or our most popular scent Man In A Can. It’s name makes it a fabulous gift item. Man In A Can’s (CK One Cologne), is perfect for the single woman. Just put a lid on it when you're finished with him! You deserve it.... Take a Quiet Moment today. You’ll be glad you did....

$12 For 1 or 2 for $20
(Includes Shipping) Effective April 2000 M.O.M.S. operates solely on donations, contributions and advertising revenue. Support M.O.M.S., the organization that supports you.
Here for you On-line and Off ... When you need us.


Can M.O.M.S. Help Me?
M.O.M.S. mission is to provide resources, support and information for and about single custodial parents and their children.

As M.O.M.S. develops and gain strength by increasing membership and establishing Chapters, we will encourage the Chapters to develop a local resource list.

If you have special needs, which cannot be met by the information we have readily available, M.O.M.S will make every effort to satisfy your needs. M.O.M.S. depends on its members to assist in helping one another. Please put your request for special needs assistance in writing. Either snail mail or E-mail, so that it may be directed to the proper party.

The Buddy System is an emotional support networking system where two members are put in contact with one another. Members may request to Buddy-Up with someone who lives close to them or a specific geographical location. Every effort will be made to accommodate members requests.

In the event we are at the time of the member's request, unable to fulfill the specific request; we will provide a substitute Buddy until we can satisfy the original request.
M.O.M.S. T-shirt
$17 Per or 2 for $30

M.O.M.S. Sweatshirt
$2 Per or 2 for $48
HOW TO ORDER
We accept Checks, Visa, and MasterCard. Cashier’s Checks & Money Orders.
Please call our office with your Credit Card orders. (760) 726-7978
Please indicate quantity, size, and/or scent on your check or write on a separate piece of paper and send in with payment.
Mail Payment To
M.O.M.S.
475 College Blvd. Suite 6-176
Oceanside, CA 92057-5512


What Can Members Do To Help?
We love this question! There are plenty of We Need Help Categories to choose from. M.O.M.S. will benefit you most when you become “involved” and part of the team. Here are a few examples of what you can "do" to help.


We encourage single parents to get in the sack together at our functions
Uncommon Grounds
Do you know the difference between them and us?

They have two parents in the same household.
They have someone who keeps their feet warm at night.
They have a partner who’s shares in "Yelling" at the kids
They have two paychecks.
They get to take real vacations
They give each other a break on occasion.
They worry about infidelity. Ha!
BUT ....They pay full price (around $10 per lb.), for this very famous brand of coffee that we have renamed Uncommon Grounds. That’s right! If you were to get Uncommon Grounds in it’s original package at its famous maker's well-known coffeehouse, you would be spending some serious cash. But we’re privileged. We’re special. And because we are, we’ve been permitted to repackage and sell this incredible brand of Java at an affordable one-income price. Okay, so we don’t get to take a real vacation. And we have to do all the "Yelling" ourselves and we have to rub our feet together at night to keep warm. At least we don’t have to worry about infidelity! Ha!
$5.50 lb. ~ or~ $25 for 5 lbs.
Available in Whole Bean or Ground


M.O.M.S. VIP Card
The VIP Card, which is your membership card, also entitles you to discounts that will assist in stretching you dollars stretch.

Currently Members in specific areas can receive from 20% - 74% discounts off regularly priced and sales items. When we say everything, we mean it. M.O.M.S. current VIP Merchant Participant list includes dry cleaners & jewelers, restaurants and auto dealers. There are also photographers, paralegals and attorneys as well as clothing stores and many others.

This is a Member participation program. We need help expanding this benefit. Ask businesses in your area to offer a discount. Think of all the money single parents can save and think about how far that it will help us stretch our hard-earned dollars.



Fun Functions And Events
M.O.M.S. encourages Members to get involved. Our Members Camp, Dine, Shop, Ice Skate, Line Dance, Kayak, Picnic, BBQ and just about anything else you can think of.

Three make a get-together, eight makes a party and fifteen or more makes a function. We will do our best to help recruit New Members in your area, but you need to help us spread word of the M.O.M.S. Organization. And you need to jump on board and help us create fun functions.

Posters are available for distribution. Help us help you. The more single parents who hear of us, the more friends you are bound to make.
~ Together We Can & Will Make A Difference ~





~ One Of Our Sponsors ~
Why keep Why travel down the same old road when you can travel new ones with

www.allroadstraveled.com
House Parties
House Parties Are Fun!
Always a huge success at parties!
7 Reasons to do a white elephant gift exchange at parties
  1. Your mother-in-law gave it to you when she was mad at you.
  2. You didn't ever like it, but your ex did, so you took it when you left.
  3. Your taste has improved since it was purchased and it just doesn't fit with your décor anymore.
  4. When everyone ooohs and aaahs over it, it gives you an entirely new respect for the rest of the junk you have.
  5. You need the closet space it's been sitting in.
  6. You can't believe you bought it in the first place!
  7. Your best friend is married so she'll never be at a M.O.M.S. house party… therefore it's a great place to get rid of it without having to worry that she will see it at another members home or a future house party.



What Is A Single Mom?
by Spencer Betz
"You’re divorced, huh mom?" my five year old asked recently. "Yes Jaimi, I’m divorced." I answered, wondering where this might go next. Silence filled the car for a brief moment. "What’s a single mom? Oh, I know what it is mom." she answered knowingly. "What is a single mom Jaimi, do you want to tell me?" I encouraged, curious as to how much her five-year-old mind understood. "A single mom is someone who doesn’t have a dad." she answered. It wasn’t a question, it was a statement and my five-year-old was satisfied at that point with the conversation.

What is a single mom? What a complex question, I thought. It’s a woman who’s a mom AND a dad. She’s someone who has most likely mastered multiple professions. She’s a teacher, nurse, doctor and a counselor. An accountant and chief financial officer. She’s the police guarding and protecting her offspring desperately trying to keep them safe and out of trouble. A single mom is a playmate. Always dressing Barbie exactly as instructed. She’s the perfect outfielder that never tires of chasing those "almost" home run balls. She’s a Coach, encouraging good sportsmanship and ability in her children.

A single mom is a subsidiary of the transit system, forever solely responsible for the transportation and delivery of her child. She’s an economist, stretching her dollar to provide the necessities. She’s a mechanic who with only a few odd and end tools puts together multiple toys with hundreds of nuts and bolts. Never showing tears of frustration or a thought of giving up.

She’s fast and she’s creative. She’s loving and patient.... But most off all she’s tired. There is no one to help at the end of the day. No one to shoulder the responsibility. Being a single mom is a job that many, to many, do single handedly or with little help at all. It’s a job that many think they will not survive. Although they will. It’s an isolated job, often cutting her off from the rest of world. She’s a woman who has cried herself to sleep at night because she’s not superwoman and she feel short that day in courage or endurance. Exhaustion is constantly present in her life but she can’t stop. Who would take over?

Dreams of a Caribbean island vacation, a place where all she would do is relax and be pampered, keep her going. Will it happen, probably not? At least not for many years to come.

I pull into the driveway and look over at my daughter. "I love you Jaimi.... More than anything in the whole universe!" I tell her and turn the ignition key off. "I love you more mom!" she answers with a huge smile on her beautiful face. I smile back, realizing that being a single mom may be the most difficult challenge I have ever faced...but it is by far the most rewarding.


The Baby-Sitter Club
The Baby-Sitter Club allows you to go out, have a good time and not feel guilty or worry. I seriously doubt single mom Tina will drink 2 liters of Pepsi, devour a bag of cookies, a gallon of ice cream and a bag of chips. At least if she does, I'm confident that she will make sure our children eat a balanced meal before hand. And if she does go crazy with food, it will be in her cupboards, not yours!

M.O.M.S. has made the system fair. When you become a M.O.M.S. member you are automatically enrolled in the Baby-Sitter Club on request. M.O.M.S. ask for a minimum $5 donation to assist with printing and mailing cost of the Vouchers, which will be issued to you. Each Voucher is valid for one baby-sitting session. If you use all three Vouchers, you must baby-sit in return to get more Vouchers. This will keep the system fair and honest.

Vouchers may not be sold, borrowed or bartered for. You may not give your vouchers away. Any member participating in the misuse of Vouchers will be dismissed as a M.O.M.S. Member, lose all privileges and not be allowed to re-apply for membership at a later date

Participants must follow The Baby-Sitter Club Rules & Guidelines. Those accepting Vouchers as method of payment in this networking program are responsible for reporting abuse or misuse of the program if they have knowledge of such.


Who Are We?
We are an Organization of Chapters: Single moms and custodial dads who worldwide pool our resources, get together with other single parents for fun events and functions, network with and support each other!

Divorced for more than five years, our founder Spencer Betz knows first hand the trials, tribulations and hardships, financial and emotional, that comes with being a single parent. Her daughter, just seventeen months old at the time she and her husband divorced, became the main focus of her life and after more than four years of living the life of a single parent, Spencer recognized the fact that her world had become small, very small. She felt alone.

In late November 1998, Spencer was invited to join first a Rotary Club and then a Optimist Club. She declined both invitations informing both inviting organizations that if she were ever going to "do" something, she would do something for single moms.

There are groups who help the homeless, and that's a good thing, the homeless need help. There are groups who help veterans and children, both very worthy causes. There are even groups who save the whales. But where's a group that helps single moms? Spencer got on her soapbox and began carrying the word that single moms have the hardest job in the world and they deserve a break. People listened.

Within three weeks Spencer did "do" something. She went to a local auto dealership and asked if would they give single moms a well-deserved break and pay the cost of putting on a movie night for single moms to get out. She had already gained the support of a Theater in Oceanside, California who had agreed to rent the theater and the film First Wives Club, at cost. The Auto Dealer not only paid for the theater, their Executive Vice-President of Sales and Leasing co-hosted the event with Spencer.

Newspapers, television and radio stations carried the message of the free event. The publicity resulted in hundreds of telephone calls. One newspaper had printed the story (What Is A Single Mom?). Written by Spencer. She received calls from women who were in tears over the story. They too had felt alone. The calls and support were more than inspiring.

Single moms weren't the only ones who called. Attorneys, counselors, state, county and city agencies called with their support. Brothers, grandmothers and neighbors of single moms telephoned. Former single moms, now married, offered support by way of babysitting for the special event. Single custodial dads called and asked if they qualified to attend the event. The response was overwhelming.

On December 16, 1998 "Single Moms Free Night At The Movies" took place. Twenty (single) firemen greeted and handed roses to the hundreds of single moms who showed for the event. Each single mom was offered a glass of wine, a free ticket to return to the theater, a ticket stub for a prize drawing and then personally escorted to her seat on the arm of a fireman. The firemen brought their gear and we even had ladies dressing up in fireman suits for pictures.

It didn't stop there. An electrical contemporary band performed a wonderful two-hour concert for this very appreciative audience. Spencer then gave away, by drawing, more than $11,000 in gifts and gift certificates which had been donated by single mom-friendly business who supported Spencer's belief that single moms well-deserved a free night out. Many of the businesses wanted to extend a discount to single moms on a full time basis. And as a result of that generosity we are proud to be able to direct you to the merchants who have continued to support M.O.M.S. by offering members a discount with the use of their membership card. Today we call those merchants "V.I.P. MERCHANTS."

The event, far from perfect, was a great beginning . . . and as the months go by, Spencer sees, as do so many others that there is no end to the possibilities and resources that M.O.M.S. can and will strive to provide. So if you are reading this and want to make a difference in your life and that of others, join M.O.M.S. today and support the organization that supports you and Make A Difference.


Who is Marsha?
She is the designer from Wildwood Forest Studios who weaves our dream into a web site.



Let Wildwood Forest Studios bring your dream to life too.

Moms On A Mission Single, Inc.
475 College Blvd
Suite 6-176
Oceanside, CA 92056

(760) 726-7712
Fax (760) 726-7712